you ask and I reply

the emptiness of longing


I hear the sirens…the cars on the wetted road…I think about the nurse and about the streets below in a different time…I was under a duvet but now I want to feel the cold air…I want you to come inside my mind and soul…I want it to be like when I first saw it stunned me and how it made me deliriously happy until I knelt down on the floor…cars with windows open music playing…I reach my hand out to hold your hand…I want to feel the composition of the bones, their structure, to know the warmth or coldness of the skin…I want to remove my clothes and sink into a trance…I feel cold draughts of air coming up through the floorboards…this night…this night I learned a new word but not the meaning, xinli…its Chinese…you said today, to make me proud…this relationship means a lot…I think of it as…

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